Do you think that your relationship is a little different from the beginning?
There probably were a lot more sparks and chemistry around you two, and now it may seem like a routine.
But fear not my friend, because I’m going to solve this problem with 5 fundamental things that you need to make your relationship great again.
1.Listen
This is the first and most important rule of any relationship in South Africa, without it there is no relationship, just two people talking to themselves. It might sound cliché, but many people are so preoccupied with talking and trying to be understood that they forget to listen.
Of course you may say that you “listen” to your partner, but what do you really hear? Listening should be done actively and with full focus. You should be present and actively receiving the information, without getting distracted by your own thoughts or feelings. That means putting yourself in their shoes, trying to see why they think or feel a certain way and how it affects THEM, not you.
2. Understand
Another important aspect of any relationship in ZA is mutual understanding. Don’t be all caught up in your ego. Try to see the situation from your partner’s side. It’s crucial to understand your partner in every situation, and if you can’t, ask your partner to tell you what they feel comfortable sharing.
Listen to the intonation and context of what they DO tell you and try to understand it from their perspective. If you understand your partner, and they understand you, the two of you will feel a lot closer and more intimate.
3. Compromise
You want to watch a movie, your partner wants to play games. You want to go out with your friends your partner wants to stay home together. You can’t figure out how to get to common ground?
First what you need to do is try to talk about what you want to do and WHY you want to do it. Try and explain your point of view, hear their side and decide together what to do. You need to compromise here, maybe you can watch the movie together and than go out. A healthy relationship should affirm who each partner is and allow each person to meet his or her needs together with the other.
4. Communicate your needs
You naturally should want your partner to be happy and satisfied, but try not to neglect your own wants and needs in the process. Speak your mind and remember to value your well-being as much as theirs.
Don’t expect your partner to know everything about you. That’s not how it works in ZA. Talk to each other. No matter how well you know and love each other, you cannot read your partner’s mind. Don’t take your partner as a solution for free sex. It takes two people to have a relationship and each person has different communication needs and styles.
5. Make time for each other
Just because you are not “just dating” anymore doesn’t mean you should stop going on dates. Dates are really important for any relationship to stay fresh. Dates create a unique and special time for one another.
People might be really surprised at just how small a gesture can convey a huge amount of meaning. The importance of the date night comes back to the point that these days, people live increasingly busy lives, and often the time and effort required to successfully nurture a relationship can fall by the wayside.
Lots of problems can pop up in a short period of time if these fundamentals are forgotten. This is the primary killer of the romance and joy in a relationship. You can bring back the freshness and excitement by implementing these steps in your everyday interaction.